


my soul will have to wait

by ElizaAllanPoe



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Philip is mysterious, Self-Denial, Shame, lukas is in love, soft!lukas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaAllanPoe/pseuds/ElizaAllanPoe
Summary: The leaves were still green when Lukas had first seen him. Philip's lips curled into a smile, and that's when Lukas knew.  or Lukas falls in love with Philip and doesn't even realize it





	

**Author's Note:**

> title and the quote below are from santeria by sublime

_what I really wanna know, my baby_  
_what I really wanna say I can't define._  
_well, it's love, that I need._

_my soul will have to wait..._

* * *

 The leaves were still green when Lukas had first seen him.

He remembers because it was such an odd thing for any of them to still be alive. Not in New York, and definitely not during Fall.  _Nothing survived in the Fall._

It didn't hit him all at once though. At first it was just drizzle until eventually it became an all out hurricane, and Lukas was being pushed in all directions. He had never felt anything like this before, and he didn't like how fast this boy became everything he thought about.

He didn't like how at ease his heart became whenever Philip smiled. He didn't like how happy he became no matter what his mood was whenever he saw him.  He didn't like,  _he couldn't-_

 Philip was walking to class when he had first noticed him. All dark eyes, clenched jaw and leather jacket. He didn't want to be there, the universe knew it, the whole town knew it, and Lukas knew it. He seemed as if he wanted to be left alone, and God maybe Lukas should've. 

But Lukas had never seen anything like him, and he was just.. _beautiful._

Perhaps it was because of the way he held his head so high despite the rumors in hushed tones wherever he went. Perhaps it was because he just didn't care, or at least he just didn't let it show. 

There was something about him, Philip. Something about the way he just radiated confidence.  _City boy._ That's what Lukas' dad had referred to him as, but he said it with such disgust in his tone that Lukas wasn't sure how the two even correlated at all.

Why did him being from the city give some sort of negative persona? Why did it matter? His father didn't even know Philip. Neither did his friends. They didn't want to know him, but Lukas did. 

Lukas snuck glances when he was sure no one was looking. They had English together and Lukas could tell that it was Philip's favorite. He could practically hear the smile in his voice whenever he answered a question their teacher had asked. Lukas wondered who his favorite poet was. 

Philip caught him staring once. It was a couple weeks into October, and everyone was excited about some Halloween party.

Rose had went to the bathroom, and Lukas just didn't like to be alone for too long so he looked around for anything, something. Lukas spotted Philip sitting a few tables away from him in the library.  He was wearing a white Sublime t-shirt and a jean jacket, earphones secured in, writing away in a notebook. Lukas wondered what his hands felt like.  _God stop._

Philip's gaze lifted and blue eyes met brown. Lukas looked away awkwardly, hoping he had done it in time. But when Lukas looked at him again Philip's stare remained. He just looked at him, almost as if he were trying to read his mind and Lukas had never felt so bare before in his entire life. 

 When Lukas felt Rose's hand on his shoulder he jumped, almost if he were caught stealing. He could only imagine how red he was. He came up with a bullshit excuse for his spaz attack and Rose sat down next to him and reached in her bag to get her notebook. 

Lukas looked towards Philip's table only to see it empty. His heart stopped for a second because dammit he couldn't believe Philip had even noticed him and now he was gone. 

Rose's words ripped him from his thoughts and when he turned his head towards her he made eye contact once again with Philip over her head as he was exiting the Library. 

His eyes were kind but then it turned into something else. Like a  _knowing_ gaze. 

There was something spreading within Lukas and he couldn't explain it. He didn't understand it, but he knew it started as soon as Philip came into town. He also knew that Philip shouldn't be the one causing something like this. Not a feeling like this, not a feeling so warm. 

Philip's lips curled into a smile, and that's when Lukas knew. 

 _He couldn't be that guy. There was no way he could be. Right?_ _He liked Rose, she was pretty and he knew that. She was his girlfriend, and he was totally straig-_

 He decided that Philip had smiled because he simply knew too. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, have a lovely day xx


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